glassbonesnpaperskin:

I embarrass myself infront of myself

asap-tran:

really-shit:

If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

fuck

79,852 plays

woofuckingjiho:

kyubae:

SOMEONE DID A PRANK CALL USING THE SOUNDBOARD OF SHINJI IKARI 

THE SOUNDBOARD OH MY GOD

growlithed:

i want to unfollow this really shitty blog but the unfollow button isnt there?????

help????????

disparateyouth:

sometimes i drop things and am too lazy to pick them up, like pencils, or my hopes and dreams

high resolution →

high resolution →

me: what did one ocean say to the other ocean
friend: what
me: nothing they just waved
friend: oh
me: do you sea what i did there
friend: no
me: i'm shore you did
friend: stop
me: don't be a beach
friend: bye

high resolution →

parjars:

Ugh, I hate it when people say “Fuck the police”.

Don’t just fuck the police. 

Take the police out on a couple dates. Take the police to the movies or a nice stroll in the park. Feed the police some delicious fondue. Make the police fall in love with you. Then, fuck the police. And then out of nowhere, stop taking calls from the police. Ignore the police. Make the police miss you. Make the police cry.

high resolution →

dj-bsnow:

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank You” will suffice. None of this “How did you get in my house” business. So rude